what the hell?

Archives are now back up. This time it's been really easy for me to program this. My job has actually improved my coding abilities as I've seen what others have done to ease or even worsen their lives as a programmer.

Haha now I won't have to goto Xanga.com anymore!!!

Xanga's are bad because you're getting to know that person through what they post on their Xanga and totally takes away the human aspect of socializing and interacting. Also from experience posting here on my own site, people think they know enough about you from just reading their blog/Xanga. In short. Xanga = Bad...


* Goes back to reading Xangas

Edit: Goes to The Facebook instead

Wait for it... Wait for it...

I've been having more weird dreams lately (past three nights or so from Friday).

The only one I can remember right now happened about three nights ago (Wednesday I think). Basically I'm in a dark mall at night, or maybe it was a hotel because there were these glass elevators that stretched upward for miles. Anyways, I'm in this hotel at night and it's nearly deserted except... ZOMBIES. Yes that's right apparently I'm stuck in some Day of the Dead or Resident Evil style situation where I'm in a dark hotel and there are zombies all over the place and I have absolutely no weapons at all in which to defend myself.

Along the way I meet up with other people who also, for some reason unknown to us, are stuck in this dark hotel. Who the hell is crazy enough to be wandering around a deserted hotel at night.

But anyways, so I meet up with someone, don't know if it's a guy or not. It's probably a guy because what's probably going to end up happening is this guy gets eaten by all the zombies. Yeah so it's a guy. Now this guy and I are wandering around the hotel when all of a sudden, you guessed it, ZOMBIE MONSTERS come crashing down and growl at us with their dead shrivelled mouths. Apparently when I dream I don't bother to imagine myself with an awesome weapon like a baseball bat or Raid repellant. I bet zombies would shit in what's left of their pants if I had some Raid. Yeah baby feel that? That's Raid in your face.

The zombies continue to growl at me and I'm just wondering what's going to happen. Again my dreams end up screwing me over and the guy that I meet up with has a nice piece of wood to whack the zombies with. The zombies haven't attacked either of us yet because apparently they can only attack in groups of 10 or more so they're waiting for their friends to get over here so they can eat me, who's unarmed, and the other guy, who has a piece of wood.

Okay, so remember when I said my brain kept fucking me over by not giving me anything to defend myself with? Well apparently there's a reason for that. As soon as the zombies attack they all attack the other guy who had the 2x4. I'm a little confused by this, "What is my brain not good enough for these zombies?" I think to myself. Then I just slowly exit and let the guy get eaten because, "Hey it's not like I really knew him right?"

For the next ten minutes of this dream I'm running around the hotel. But apparently the hotel is comprised of just a long hallway with elevator doors because everytime I turn the corner it's the same exact long hallway with elevator doors on my right. So I'm running around in circles and then I guess some zombies are chasing me.

Then I start urinated. Wait, why the hell am I urinating? I look around and all of a sudden I'm in a bathroom at the mall. I hear a voice saying, "Hey that's pretty dorky." I turn around while I'm still urinating and there's a girl sitting on the counter IN THE MENS BATHROOM (but this doesn't really register in my mind at the time)

Anyways, this got too long. But the gist of the rest of the story is we walk out of the bathroom and we're walking through the mall when a man stops us and that's when I wake up.

Gong Xi Fa Cai

Edit:
Xin Nian Kuai Le = Happy New Year
Gong Xi Fa Cai = Congradulations, what you say to elders when they give you red envelopes

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I hope your holiday dinner is good and fufilling. My family's almost set to eat in a few minutes so this post will be short. I just wanted to say that tomorrow will be the third year I've been keeping this site up. That doesn't seem like a long time but it feels like an eternity to me.

So in case you haven't noticed, I have a new domain, the new site address is http://shuan.justrockandroll.com

Edit: Time is screwy, hold on

500 posts. I think that is a very good milestone to have reached in the world of personal blogging. Most people I know have been real fickle about maintaining a sort of online journal for this long. Hell, reaching 100 meaningful entries is an accomplishment, or even posting with some form of consistency.

Although I can't say every single post I've made was funny, or meaningful, or had a point; I can tell you that whenever I look back at some of those entries it retrieves a part of me that was stuck in my subconscious or maybe I had forgotten. I think this has been the driving point in me constantly posting. For it to be a record of my existance and of what I've done with my life so far.

But what is the point of this all you say? I guess there is no point but for a record of the past three odd years of my life. There is only one (big) difference between this type of journal and a pen-and-paper journal: the fact that people can publically view these thoughts. And I think that is something that is missing from this site. I mean I am not very anonymous on this website. Everyone who reads it regularly knows who I am so it is a hard thing to try and write down what I am really feeling and I am stuck with writing how the day went on and any quick anecdotes I may have had.

My only regrets about this site, the fact that the Internet wasn't what it was back in 1997 and thus my inability to have started this back at the beginning of my high school career. Although I had something similar to this written in a Word document with a password on it which only contained the name of the girl I had a crush on back in 7th grade, written in Wingdings and of another girl who I had a crush on in 8th grade (No neither one reads my site nor is it people where one can easily guess). The Internet back in 1997 wasn't what it is now. It was a much different entity where the only other person who I knew had ICQ was Kenny He and where AIM was non-existant. If somehow I could have done that I would have stopped writing in it the day I graduated from high school and just see the progress of 4 years of high school.

The second and last regret is making this thing public. I guess I should have some private journal too, but what I post in the public entries usually reminds me of what I need to know.

Another thing I wonder during the whole time I've written on this site is what would have happen if I had not gone to Troy and instead stayed at Valencia. Would I have been happier at Valencia or at Troy? I am sad about all those 'close' friends that have drifted out of reach of a phone, a simple e-mail or IM or random appearance at a Supermarket. I have a hard time making chit-chat but it's such a necessary social skill that you have to be able to make with the bullshit. While I definitely cannot answer that question of Troy or Valencia because of the improbable situation of time-travel I think the friends that I've made in high school were worthwhile friends. I'm always thinking what my friends think of me. Do they think that I am a good friend to them? My friends have treated me well and I'm thankful for that so I'm hoping that I've at least affected their lives in some ways for the better.

And to those friends that have drifted from me since middle school or high school: I'm sorry that it was that way. I heard recently from a certain girl that I've definitely changed since middle school. I really don't see that. I was so incredibly goofy in middle school and I still am. I don't feel like I've changed at all although people will probably tell me otherwise. So I guess a question to my friends would be, "Am I that much different from when you first met me to now?" I would really like an honest answer to that question....

And with that, I think I will stop because I've written far too much

So my birthday is today!

Thanks to all those who wished me a Happy Birthday and for those who eventually remembered :)

Also this site was down for a while and I'm kind of mad because it revealed my actual code for my site which doesn't help in its security :( Maybe I should get my own host

Sneaky Ninja Eyes are now in full effect

It's my 400th attempted entry and I'll talk about what I want (football)!

So I'm playing a lot of Madden 2003 now and Erik doesn't like it. I yell a lot, yes like I yell in Counter-Strike.

The thing with Madden is that it can be totally random. The AI has come a long way from the older series where they couldn't pick up a blitz really well or where you could just run it to the outside to get a first down. Now it will pick up the blitz as well as line stunts, although only if it is in their blocking scheme. It seems kinda easy to run on some teams though, but they'll cover you the same when you run to the outside or when you run to the inside. Although you're suppose to be able to make your own plays (I can't find it), there are a variety of plays predesigned and put in as a "playbook" so you can have the Rams' playbook, or the 49ers playbook or the Eagles playbook and they'll run it like the real teams would.

Now the problems with this game: It's really hard for me to focus on my quarterback and my receivers. If I watch my quarterback, I can't tell who's covering my receivers. But if I watch my receivers, my quarterback will probably get sacked. I suppose that's how its suppose to be I'd like to watch both. Another problem with it is that the AI can't really run the ball too well but they can pass like crazy. I've had games where the AI team has had negative yardage on the run but like 400 yards passing!!!

Related to the computer's passing abilitiies. It can be 3rd down and 30 and you can be in your prevent defense. If you don't get to the quarterback he'll find some way to throw it to a receiver to get enough yardage. And it makes no sense when they catch the ball and this is what makes me scream out in frustration the most. If my defenders are 5 yards away from the receiver, my cornerback has a high chance of deflecting or intercepting the ball. But if my cornerback is one foot in front of the receiver ready to intercept the ball, it goes through him and the receiver catches it!!! I've had the AI make a completion through three of my defenders and I've also seen a play in which a quarterback (with a terrible rating mind you) gets pressured by my linemen so he moves right, makes a hard shuffle back to his left, steps to his right a bit, does a spin and heaves an off-balanced pass to a reciever who makes a diving catch for it.

The blocking AI is okay but it sometimes does weird things. I mean when I go back to pass their pass-block scheme is pretty good, they can pick up stunts and blitzes (unless it wasn't part of their PLAN!!!) but when I'm running the ball it's a different story. I will be trying to run the ball to the outside with my lead blocker; instead of blocking one of the two defenders that are steaking down from their positions to try and cut me off, he goes instead to block a linebacker that was trailing me from the inside and had no chance to catch up with me. So here I am laughing gleefully ^_^ about getting a huge gain and then all of a sudden my fullback leaves and there's these two other guys waiting to pounce on me.

And the penality calling. Geez, it's terrible albeit impartial to whether or not your the AI or User. I've been called on a face mask penalty three plays in a row and I've also seen it call holding on the quarterback right after he threw a pass out of bounds. There have been drives which I seem to have shutdown on yet I will get called for some face mask penalty and then they throw for a 30 yard touchdown.

Yet another thing wrong is the fumbles. Marshall Faulk does not fumble, let alone fumble three times in a game.

Also the commentary by John Madden and Al Michaels gets trite very fast. John Madden called my fullback one of the more standout wide recievers in the game.